The Scootonium Scenario

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The Scootonium Scenario is an episode of Transformers: Renegade Rhetoric described on the Renegade Rhetoric Facebook page.

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The following was posted on Facebook on January 15, 2016. [1]

Dear Cy-Kill, How did you wind up on Axiom Nexus in the first place?

Cy-Kill: It began innocently enough. UNECOM probes near Neptune's moon, Larissa, discovered a new element, atomic number 199. Since Scooter had been instrumental in programming the probe, Earth decided to name the element Scootonium. This foolish bit of flattery went right to the tiny twerp's head, and he became determined to discover everything there was to know about the element.

This was not as easy as it at first appeared. Its unusually high atomic mass gave it bizarre properties, such as having a boiling point BELOW its freezing point, and he spent many weeks in his lab on Leader-1's Command Center conducting experiments. Its most interesting, and useful, property was its ability to temporarily shift out-of-phase with reality when an electrical current passed through it, and Scooter immediately saw the military applications of this breakthrough. He designed a Quantum Tunneling Armband, and Turbo volunteered to test it.

Fortunately for me, this exchange happened while UNECOM was loading supplies onto the Command Center, and one of the laborers happened to be in my employ. He dropped off his pouch in his usual location, a dumpster behind the UNECOM launch facility, and Fly Trap retrieved it. I had no intention of allowing Leader-1 to have the monopoly of such a potent technology, and immediately organized an attack on the test grounds.

Turbo was skeptical when the test began. Scooter affixed the armband and assured him that "it's perfectly safe," then gulped and added, "I hope." Turbo activated the band, and told everyone that he didn't feel any different. Then Matt said, "let's get this show on the road," and tossed him a baseball. Turbo instinctively tried to catch it... and it passed right through his hand. "Sorry, Matt, I guess I fumbled that one." Matt assured him that he was just getting warmed up, and threw another ball directly at Turbo's chest. Again, the ball traveled right through him.

Scooter was ecstatic, and suggested a low-level blast. Leader-1 dialed his blaster to its minimum setting and had Turbo extend a foot, then blasted his toe. "I can't watch," the red GoBot grumbled, but again the blast went straight through him. Once he saw that, he straightened out and puffed out his chest. "Let's try it on full power," he suggested, and Leader-1 obliged. The blast sailed straight through the annoying Guardian and hit some crates behind him... revealing Cop-Tur's crouching form!

Our ambush revealed, I ordered an attack. I had brought an overwhelming force with me, including Crasher, Cop-Tur, Geeper-Creeper, Block Head, and Psycho. Leader-1 quickly moved to Scooter and Matt's position, and threw up a force field to protect his diminutive friend and his human ally. Turbo attempted to deck Crasher... and his swing passed right through her! She laughed at his misfortune, and used her seismic stomp to blast Staks, standing watch at the ramp to the Command Center. Block Head and Crasher kept firing on Leader-1's shields, to pin him down and prevent him from interceding, and Geeper-Creeper raced onto the Command Center to secure the Scootonium. Turbo, realizing his folly, deactivated the Quantum Tunneling Armband and resolidified. Unfortunately, I didn't realize this, and ignored his flying tackle... which took both of us directly into Leader-1's force field. I received quite the shock, but Turbo's armband absorbed the energy and shorted out, leaving him apparently unharmed. Geeper-Creeper ran off the ship, carrying all remaining Scootonium, so I ordered a withdrawal. There was no sense in sticking around, now that the objective had been achieved.

Matt apologized for keeping Leader-1 out of the fight, but the Guardian shrugged him off. "Any Guardian would have done the same, Matt. The important thing is that no one was hurt."

"Yeah," added Scooter, "for now. But the Renegades got all the Scootonium that's not in the armband! C'mere, Turbo, let me get that off of you." He reached for the deactivated armband... and passed right through his comrade! Turbo was stuck out-of-phase, potentially forever!

Meanwhile, I wasted no time in outfitting myself with a Quantum Tunneling Shield. Dr. Go assured me that its circuits would only activate when impact with a high-energy pulse or projectile was imminent, granting me immunity to any attack. I attacked the Guardian supply depot at Kapteyn's Star, and easily destroyed three Command Centers before having my troops cart off all of the Guardian munitions and supplies.

Back on Leader-1's Command Center, Turbo was distraught. He feared that he'd never be able to touch another GoBot again. Leader-1 promised that they'd find a way to save him, but Scooter was particularly concerned. Without the Scootonium we'd stolen, he wasn't sure how he'd reverse Turbo's condition. "Then we'll just have to get it back," Leader-1 declared in a fit of obnoxiousness, "and I think I know how."

GoBotron Fortress

A few days later, Zeemon announced that he would be touring the GoBotron Fortress. This was a perfect opportunity for us, to destroy GoBotolis' main defense and take out the Guardians' civilian leadership once and for all. Cop-Tur cautioned that it might be a trap, which was unusually sensible for him. I had Sky-Jack investigate, and surely enough Scooter had taken the frequency vibration of Leader-1's force field and turned it into an Anti-Phase-Displacer Blaster. Unfortunately for them, the blaster was fixed on a set spot immediately in front of the GoBotron Fortress' gates, and I had no intention of going through the front door.

I had Rogue Star bombard the fortress from orbit as Cop-Tur, Crasher, and I conducted a frontal assault. Cop-Tur and Crasher were, of course, cautious, but blasted away with reckless abandon; after all, nothing could touch me as long as I wielded the Quantum Tunneling Shield. Nothing, that is... except Turbo! He tackled me outside of the GoBotron Fortress and we grappled for a few moments, before he grabbed my Shield and shoved me into the path of the Anti-Phase-Displacer Blaster. Matt fired it and its energies enveloped me, and then I simply vanished from existence. Crasher panicked and Cop-Tur called a retreat.

Shortly thereafter, using the Shield, Scooter was able to restore Turbo to corporeality. "Aw, thanks, Scoot," the lummox said.

Scooter shrugged. "Aw, don't mention it. Besides, if you hadn't gotten stuck in-between dimensions, we'd never have exiled Cy-Kill to another reality! Do you think we've really seen the last of him?"

Leader-1 folded his arms. "I don't know, Scooter. I sure hope so. But wherever he is, I just hope he doesn't get up to too much trouble."

And, in another dimension, I found myself in a vast space, filled with thousands of mechanoids of every conceivable shape and size. "Welcome to processing," a voice rang out, and I knew that, wherever I was, it presented an enormous opportunity that I was determined to exploit.

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